Hot Rods and Muscle Cars!

I’m not a tomboy. I’m not in any way masculine, in fact, I’m rather a priss about some things. HOWEVER! I LOVE vehicles. I love the Transformers. I love Johnny Lightning. I like Harleys and fast boats. I am fascinated with Peterbilts.

Peterbilt – Optimus Prime

My dream car is the Dodge Viper:

Dodge Viper – dream car

But in all practicality, I’ll end up with my Camaro, soon, I’m hoping:

My reality car – Chevy Camaro

Eventually I want to have a Stingray:

Fun Retirement Car – Stingray Corvette

I collect die cast cars. Hot Wheels, Matchbox, and so far my favorite is the Johnny Lightning cars. I have quite a few. I don’t care about rarity or anything like that, I just get the ones I think look cool. I have a lot of ‘Vettes and Camaros and a few Vipers. I like the special edition superhero cars. I have a 1:64 die cast of Dale Earnhardt Senior’s first race car, a pink ’56 Ford Victoria.

Can you believe this was his first racer?

Anyways, the point of this post is this: girls are turned on by cool cars. Girls will ALWAYS be turned on by cool cars. If you do not currently own a cool car, please do not despair. It isn’t a requirement for many of us. Not even me. However, if you are dating someone and she claims that she prefers you drive a little, economical, Japanese-made, run-forever car, she is being smart. And practical. And a liar. Her motor will rev with the sound of every engine she hears from a big ‘ol Chevy or Ford or Dodge, PIECE-O-CRAP, DOWN HOME AMERICAN-MADE, MUSCLE MACHINE.

That said, it really is okay to be practical, fuel efficient, eco-friendly and we do appreciate when you are these things, but PLEASE do excuse us when we moisten our panties at the sight of a Hot Rod. It cannot be helped.

Please do stay tuned for:

Strip Club Secrets

Chubby Guys I’d Get Down With

Another tip for my girls out there…

The best night of my life was enhanced and probably gained the title of the best night of my life due to one, easy, fun change. I wore a short, bright blue wig. I have fairly long, brunette hair in reality.

It was an Our Lady Peace concert, my favorite band, and I’d never seen them live before. I was front row, got to meet them after, and I had the night of my life. I stood out and they remember me. Wonder how I know that? Here’s a link to a promotional video they released after the show. http://youtu.be/p9wvfdE0aOA. At about 1:50, you’ll see me spotlighted.

So… I’m in a video with my favorite band. So what? SO WHAT? Are you in a video with your favorite band?

This wouldn’t have happened for me if I’d have just been another random brunette standing in the crowd.

My little blue wig is perfect for trips to places like Tahoe, concerts, and anywhere I feel like spicing it up. I get lots of stares, questions, and in general, I’m treated kind of like a celebrity. It’s fun. I bought it for about $20 on E bay and it is worth every penny.

My suggestion? Get a wig. One that is the opposite of your actual hair color and style. Don’t like blue? Get a pink one, or a bright red one. It can turn a fun event into a historical one, instantly, and you don’t even have to commit to anything. You take it off at the end of the night and are back to the familiar you again.

4 things many guys haven’t caught onto about oral sex, but should…

There may be some sensitive R-rated material in this post, just to warn ahead of time…

#1.

Very importantly, the issue of trimming downstairs:

Guys, I know what happens when you all try shaving for the first time. You wind up with all sorts of razor burn, bumps, itching, scratchiness, and even pain. It’s uncomfortable at the very least. So, you leave it alone after that and the girls either deal with it or they don’t (you hope they do).

Let me help you do this the correct and easy, painless way. DEFINITELY do it, but do it right:

First. DO NOT SHAVE. Put the razor down. Pick up some hair cutting scissors instead and trim it back as short as possible without making it stubbly enough to cause irritation.

As you get used to the new do, you can gradually trim it back more and more and eventually even start shaving a bit at a time. You have to toughen up the area, slowly. You can’t just full on expose it to the elements when it has grown used to the full coverage of fur. Slowly but surely is how you go at it.

The women you date will appreciate this. We don’t want you in pain and unable to be touched, but we don’t enjoy choking on long pubes, either. We prefer to not have hair going up our nose, or getting stuck in our nether regions. Definitely clean it up, but gently and carefully.

#2.

Asking a woman to go downtown is never okay. If she wants to do it, she will. Asking her to, even if initially she would have, automatically causes her to balk. Of course, she may do it anyways, feeling obligated, but trust me when I say it will not be her best performance.

If you are unfortunate enough to have landed a girl who never initiates oral sex, the rule still stands. You may need to move on if it is important enough to you to cause feelings of resentment toward her. There are many women who enjoy doing it and you can find one. There are probably more girls who do than those who don’t.

#3.

Never expect to receive without giving. If you detest going south, you should never expect her to.

If there is something that causes you to balk, such as a scent or too much fur, remedy it subtly by playfully suggesting a shower or bath together. Lather her up. Tell her you’ve always fantasized about shaving a woman and ask if she would allow you to. If this goes forward, be very careful, we have lots of folds and crevices. Pull skin taught before you touch it with a razor.

The point is, if you like her, fix the situation. If she isn’t important enough to do that, then just avoid it and don’t sleep with her again.

#4.

Every so often you may come across a woman who is shy about allowing you to navigate southward. It doesn’t matter the reasons, it makes no difference why, but something has caused her to be uncomfortable with it.

Don’t push it. If it’s a one-night-stand, just drop it.

However, if this is someone you are going to be dating, don’t give up with just one try. After time goes by, she will begin trusting you. She may eventually be open to it, but you need to let her know that it’s something you WANT very much to do. Don’t beg, just keep making the attempt. Maybe wait til a time when she’s had some wine.

Never give up completely, though, because she may eventually feel like you never really wanted to in the first place, thus very possibly re-enforcing her phobia. This may cause resentment.

I know. We are complicated creatures, delicate yet lethal. You would never want us any other way!

Please stay tuned in for upcoming posts:

Strip-club secrets. A peek in the dressing room.

Chubby guys I’d get down with.