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The DOs and DON’Ts of Jealousy and Being Possessive…

I understand how confusing women can be when it comes to jealousy, being possessive, and how you react to another guy’s apparent interest in her. It’s an extremely delicate matter. It makes it even more difficult because women seem to be all different when it comes to these things.

We aren’t. We all react pretty much the same depending upon the specific circumstances and the man with whom the circumstances surround.

There is hope and a happy medium. Women are finicky creatures, but if you really do want to know how to handle us, read my words carefully and pay attention. You MUST follow these guidelines, or you will wind up either losing her, being cheated on, or fighting all the time with the one you love the most.

1. Yes. We DO want you to feel a bit possessive of us. We want to know that you care if you lose us. Notice I said FEEL. We want you to FEEL some jealousy when another man hits on us. DO feel it.

2. DO NOT, however, make a scene, start a fight, act insecure, or pretty much do anything about it unless the guy becomes disrespectful TOWARD US, not you. You will know when WE believe this is happening because, PAY ATTENTION, we will tell you. Do you have a hot girlfriend? I’m sure she is, or why would you want to be with her? If you have a hot girlfriend, other men are going to notice her. Guess what, my boy? She appreciates a bit of attention from other people than you, sometimes. It makes her feel good about herself and makes her feel sexy. DO act proud that she’s with you. DO casually place your arm around her and smile, proudly, that they appreciate her hotness. DO, PLEASE, DO trust her to handle herself, and them, with dignity and pride in these situations. Now, if she signals her annoyance and she is indicating that you do something about it, they have probably gone over board. When this happens, gently but firmly reprimand them and steer her away. That’s all. Get her out of there, but you DO NOT need to cause a fight.

3. DO let her know regularly that you would be devastated if you lost her. Tell her that she means a lot to you. Tell her you wouldn’t want go through life without her. Let her know, on a regular basis, that you love her and never want her to go away. Do this in a manly, dignified, non-clingy way.

4. Now this is probably the most important one. Absolutely DO NOT EVER place blame upon her. DO NOT make her feel as though she is being slutty, or flirtatious, or trying to sleep with other men. DO NOT subject her to your insecure feelings, or jealous fits. DO NOT harass, humiliate, or embarrass her because of your feelings. Why? Because you will lose her. Let me explain. There is a power, invisible, almost magical in nature, that does and has been proven to exist. It is called the power of suggestion. IF YOU SUGGEST that she might cheat on you, or leave you for someone else… if you suggest this enough times… trust me when I say that you will make it happen. And guess what? It will be YOUR fault, NOT HERS.

5. DO NOT grab her phone and start nosing through it. DO NOT take her purse and trifle through it. DO NOT make physical inspections of her just because she’s not been in your sight for a few hours. All of these things are signs of insecurity and serious mental issues. A bit of a turn off for most women. If you act this way, you are going to lose her. I’m sorry to break it to you, but the tighter you try to squeeze, the more she will just want to be free.

This is not okay.

6. DO, at ALL times, behave as if you believe she would NEVER be unfaithful to you, until the day that you find out she isn’t. Even if you truly think she is being inappropriate. Even if you suspect with all of your heart that she just might leave you. Guess what? If she is going to do it, you can do nothing to stop it anyways. When it happens, deal with the situation however you need to, whether you leave her, or forgive her, or she leaves you. Until that point, DO give her the benefit of the doubt. If you can’t do that, then you DO NOT belong together in the first place.

The Playmate Gate